


Loss And Gain

by flickawhip



Series: GhostlyLove - Vivien/Felicity [1]
Category: American Horror Story, American Horror Story: Murder House
Genre: F/F, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2018-08-12
Packaged: 2019-06-26 12:59:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15663714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickawhip/pseuds/flickawhip
Summary: Vivien gains a new lover...





	Loss And Gain

“No... No no no...”

Vivien’s voice is weak even as she watches the woman walk towards the house, alone. It’s the first solo woman, the house has been quiet without a physical human body in the house, but Vivien knows that it will all start again. 

“Please no...”

The girl pauses, she’s walking, she’s aware of people watching her move in. Laughing maybe. She doesn’t move away, choosing, with a sigh, to enter, she would have to go inside sometime, even if the house was.... creepy. 

People had warned her, many times, that the house was haunted but she refused to pretend it mattered. She had come inside, pausing inside the door to take in everything, the house was beautiful. She had made her way through the rooms slowly, taking in more and more of the house. It was clean, very clean. 

The door clicked shut, she had gasped, turning quickly to look at the door, then half-laughed at herself. It was nothing, it had to be nothing. Making her way through the house had left her a little jumpy. The locks on the door had made it clear not to go down into the basement, she had taken the warning. 

She had made her way up to the bedrooms next, wanting to at least put down her suitcase and bag. She had put the bag away without unpacking it, it only had her phone and purse inside anyway, but she would need to unpack her clothing. 

There was a slight hint of something watching, waiting, wondering but this time it didn’t feel threatening, it felt... welcoming, hopeful even. She had unpacked slowly, humming to herself as she did so, so many years alone had left her with a slight habit of singing or humming to herself and she often found it hard not to start and found it harder still to stop.

People had watched her live, from the tour-buses, wondering when she would begin to feel the ghosts in the house. Tate had been locked out, thankfully, as had the girl Ben slept with, but Vivien and Moira still haunted the place. Ben too had stayed inside, for now. 

His had been the first death marker to move. The girl had woken one night to the feeling of someone inside her, around her, not seeing him, but feeling him, he had learnt tricks no other ghost knew. Violet too had left, choosing to stay outside when her father’s ghost was thrown from the house. 

Moira had left of her own accord, leading the girl to her marker, knowing she was not what the girl needed. She had sensed the girl’s shame, and pain, it seemed Ben had dragged forth old memories. She had watched from outside the house even as the girl chose to try one last way out. 

Vivien had moved on instinct at that time, she had been watching the girl, falling in love with the blonde’s gentle smile and soft humming, her easy way of moving as if nothing the house could haunt her with mattered... but it had. She knew it had. 

She had seen the girl’s tears, her desperate scrubbing at her body. Heard the screams and sobs as the girl was hit by memory after memory, sinking at last down the bathroom wall. The girl had shivered then, looking around as if for help. 

Vivien had wanted to go to her then, not knowing how. She had never tried. 

“Just let me die...”

The girl’s scream was raw, painfully raw and Vivien’s heart broke even as she manifested herself, flickering into being even as the girl sobbed. The girl saw only a tangle of red-blonde hair, soft blue eyes, and fear... someone cared. 

“Just let me die... please...”

“I can’t...”

Vivien’s voice had broken as she spoke. 

“I can’t...”

“Why not?”

The question had made Vivien pause. She struggled to recall the girl’s name, she had seen her name many times, now she spoke softly. 

“Felicity...”

The sound of her name had caused the girl to look up. 

“How did you...”

“Felicity....”

Warm hands closed around the girl’s, forcing her to focus. 

“I can’t let you die here....”

“Why not?”

“You would never.... leave...”

“How do you....”

Silence, the girl had recognized her at last. 

“Vivien?”

“You... know?”

Felicity’s smile was weak. 

“Yeah... I know you... I know this house... I know.... I know it’s you... just you... now... not even your child...”

“Violet...”

“Not even Violet stayed... did she?”

Vivien had sighed softly. 

“No...”

“Why not? She... loved you...”

“She knew you needed.... we.... needed to be alone...”

Felicity’s smile was soft.

“So it’s always been you I felt?”

“Yes...”

“Except... the bed.... that was.... not?”

“No.”

Felicity’s smile was soft.

“I can’t have children.... he didn’t know that.... did he?”

“Did you.... carry it?”

“For a... a month...”

Felicity had sighed. 

“I lost it... I always lose them...”

She had sighed again. 

“It’s part of why...”

She paused, then, knowing Vivien was no longer looking her hands, or holding them, moved quickly. 

“Part of why I won’t...”

“Won’t?”

“Live...”

Before Vivien could stop her any further she had split the skin at her wrists one last time, letting herself fade, Vivien’s face the last she saw in her human life. 

She woke later, much later, to Vivian pacing the house alone. Sobbing. Bitterly sobbing. 

“Vivien...”

Vivien had turned at the sound of her voice.

“Viv...”

Felicity appeared innocent now, softer, happier even. 

The pain and blood had faded, she had faded, every single inch of pain had fallen away, leaving her beautiful. Innocent. 

“Felicity?”

“Vivien...”

Vivien had smiled, noting the girl’s soft blonde curls, her warm hazel eyes and happy smile. She loved her, even like this, even with everything crashing down between them. The girl had faltered in step, her eyes warm even now. 

“Vivien...”

“I thought.... I thought I could.... save you....”

“Vivien...”

“I thought I could save you...”

“You did. You.... You did.”

“You died Felicity...”

“Yes.”

“You died.... and I couldn’t... I couldn’t stop you... I loved you and I couldn’t stop you...”

“You loved me?”

Vivien had covered her mouth with a hand, her eyes watering. 

“Vivien... you loved me?”

“Yes...”

The word was almost a sob, Felicity’s own eyes hurting with tears even as she moved to embrace Vivien, half-sighing at the feeling of her there, she felt so real, even as a ghost. Her own voice broke as she spoke, almost whispering the words. 

“I loved you too....”


End file.
